Why did some of my other friends seem to have more ability and potential than I had? How could God use me when there seemed to be something missing in my life? Could He ever use me for His glory? These were the questions that seemed to penetrate my heart in my first 15 years as a young wife of a minister.
Then one day I found the answer to those questions. This fearful and introverted person came face-to-face with the missing dimension in her life. Missing was the confidence and self-assuredness that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). The constant fear of not being able to live up to other people's expectations, including my husband's, had haunted me on a regular basis. But through Christ, I gained confidence and overcame all those fears.
My first encounter with facing my mounting insecurities occurred at a Christian Conference at Forest Home, California, in 1963. I heard Dr. Henry Brandt, a Christian psychologist, give a message about the filling of the Holy Spirit and the effect it could have on my life. This was the first time it had been presented to me so clearly, and instantly I recognized it as the missing dimension.
The fear and anxieties that possessed me were no from God: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). This was exactly what I lacked! I needed power, love, and a sound mind to enable me to throw off my poor self-image and fear, step forward with new confidence, and let God do whatever He chose to do with my life. I knew my limitations and that I could only do this by turning the controls over to the Holy Spirit.
I was also helpful when I realized that I was wrong in not accepting myself as God had created me: "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that My soul knows very well" (Psalms 139:14).
Dr. Brandt talked to me about confessing my fears and anxieties as sin, "for whatever is not from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23b), and then asking to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I followed that simple formula and trusted the Holy Spirit over the days and months ahead to do the impossible through me because of this new power within me.
I will admit that there was no outward sign or expression except for a beautiful and quiet peace that settled in my heart. God was beginning to do a work in me that would be far more effective than anything I could do myself. I wanted to do the impossible for God. My new discovery did not change me overnight, in a week, or even in a month. But as I began to daily draw on that power, love, and sound mind, God was working within me. The missing dimension had been found. My natural temperament was still a part of me, but God was going to work on my weaknesses. Together we would see a transformed Beverly begin to grow.
Please read the complete book of temperaments by purchasing the book...The Spirit-Controlled Woman by Beverly LaHaye